Why Us?

So, this week was FUN!!! I got off to a great start and by mid afternoon today, I was not only taking my three year old's hands out of crap I was swimming in some virtual feces, thanks to some hackers.

Fudge hackers they suck. Really, nice going guys especially the scum's who started doing here in the states!!! I can see where some of these other guy from overseas can hate America's government but for people right here in the US to partake in this crap, screw you. You should be tarred and feathered and sent overseas to join your buddies.

Why am I mad because although the original hackers were annoying they were kind enough to not delete files, they also pointed out a weakness with a system that many, many people were using. Problem fixed. Time to move on and instead of hoping it does not happen again lets find a way to not let it happen again.

By the way I have to give Stacey from Doodle Babies a huge THANK YOU! She has worked tremendously hard bringing everyone back online. She also worked incredibly quickly to get us a patch for the problem and a new version of the cart. She has always been nothing buy pleasant and extremely helpful.

THANKS Stacey for your hard work. Also, I heard through the grape vine that the owners of both Merchant Moms also beefed up there security and were working extremely hard to get their clients a revamped version loaded. I also heard Pie Cart is also working on the problem.

Now next week I don't know what I will do for fun so I better get to working on that forum I keep promising you all for boutique moms.

Okay, I'll blog 2you Later and hopefully launch soon!

making up for what we will never be

Today, I was thinking about all those years I spent hating my hair because of how other girls always made fun of it. I spent about 20 years thinking how gross my hair was and how much I wished I had pretty brown hair like the other girls I went to school with. I spent years wishing it wasn't so jet black and curly, but what I wished for most was that I didn't have so much hair. Then when I had my first son and he was born bald I just about fell out my hospital bed when they gave him to me.

Could this be my son? This bald ass baby? As he became a toddler and his beautiful light brown curls started coming in and all the moms juts died when they saw his perfect hair, I would secretly giggle. The girl who was once called Medusa and Palm Tree head had the son with the perfect hair they all wanted for their daughters.

My husband and I have been talking lately about how children have a great way for making up for what "we" will never be. It is life's way of showing us the other side, the grass that we always thought was greener and the way to show us that our troubles did not go unrewarded but it could also be life's way of showing you what the dead grass looked like and learning some compassion for others.

I have a friend whom I adore who is very depressed right now. She in every way is a wonderful mom, wife, friend and person but she is going through some rough times now. I think she is a hoot and is incredibly easy to get along with but when she goes to her mom group she has a hard time making friends with the "it" gals. But my friend's little girl is a shining star that all the other little girls like. Her daughter has no trouble making friends, socializing and becoming the center of the play group. Someday, her child will be one of the "it" girls that the other girls want to be accepted by. So, my friend who has always been on the outside looking in will get to see through her daughter's eyes what it feels like to be part of that inner circle.

I much rather have been dog girl than to have one of my own children be the child called that. Not that my boys will not be ridiculed someday or that they won't go through their own pains, unfortunatley we all do. But it is just great when our children seem to be what we always wanted to be. It is also great knowing that when you have children that are looked up to because they are one of the "desirables" you can mold them into accepting all people even the "undesirables". That is something I as a once SUPER undesirable drill into my boys...have compassion for others!

For me almost being thirty is showing me that life is not about wanting to be something but capitalizing on what we are. I might never know what it feels like to have that perfect straight hair I can shampoo and go with. What I do have works for me and I have come to love it. I have other things that make me very happy to look in the mirror no matter what that physical image that reflects back is.

As far as my friend goes, she may never be part of that clique of moms sitting on the blanket at the park during the play group meetings. What she will always be is the mom who spends the play group time playing with her daughter and the other kids having the REAL fun. She will be the mom who does things for her children not because that is what the other moms are doing but because those things are what seem right for her kids. She is the mom who instead of spending her free time doing something for herself she does things for her children and for others.

So, to her who I relate to dearly in many ways kick those feelings you are having because sweetie you are more than one of the "it" girls. To me you are an inspiration, a friend that truly shares her life with me, a mom who does not pretend to be perfect and better yet, a person who never looks down on me for my own shortcomings. Your greatest reward will be that daughter who God gifted to you who will make up for those things you never got to experience.

Remember life has a funny way of rewarding people for their good and bad actions so...the bitches on the blanket that don't make room for you will someday get to experience their children being the ones on the outside looking in. But, luckily for their child maybe your daughter will be one of those desirable girls on the blanket and having learned from your pain, she will make room on the blanket for their child whom might not be a "desirable" no matter what the other girls think of her!

Blog 2u Later!

3rd Birthday Star

Today, is my middle man's birthday! He is three finally! Seems like we have been in the terrible two's forever. Well, I hope he gets the potty training thing down soon. I hope his temper relaxes a bit must be hard being the monkey in the middle. I hope that his third year is so much better than the first two. As a two year old he accomplished so much. Even though he is accident prone he has great agility and balance. He is a wonderful climber and rides his bike almost without training wheels. His dad took them off once a couple of months ago and Dar did it for a little while but was not tall enough. His is our daredevil and punk rocker all in one. I know if any of my boys go through an all black, chains, hair dying and piercing stage the most likely to do it would be him. Most of all I hope I can be a better mom to him and give him all the individual attention he deserves. I love you Darrick Josef! Our little Dar Dar, Darlisimo, Darzan, Monster Truck and DarSucio!

Slacker Blogger!

So, it is about 1am my time and this is the third time I have sat here making an attempt to write this blog. I have a great post in mind about a boutique owner who really inspires me so why can't I write? I have no clue but I think that my slacker blogger problem comes from the thousands of other things going on in my life. So, I am going to dig deep and try to find the motivation to to do that post tomorrow. Today, I have some questions for those of you out there reading this who are willing to answer? If you all would like to answer the questions as annonymous you can but I would love to get some feedback.

So, here come the questions...

Do you find it incredibly hard to balance being a mom and maintaining a sense of self?

I do that is why I am asking. I feel like I can no longer be greedy or put myself first. There are so many things I need to do for myself that will in turn provide for my children but I can't find the time to always do them in because I am taking care of the children! So, I work late into the morning hours to just be able to get anything done.

Next question...

How many of you out there do this too? Spend all day taking care of the kids, house and everything else and then do your work after they are all asleep?

Do you feel burnt out?

I do. I really am the type of person that likes to throw myself into things and do them at 100%. With having so much to do I feel like I have to constantly juggle and the juggling has me burnt out. I'd love to concentrate on one thing and not feel guilty for neglecting anything else.

Last question...

Do you ever feel like you are the only one who can't hang at this being a "SuperMom" bulls**t?

Pardon my French but it has to be bull because I have yet to meet one woman who truly is a SuperMom! I know plenty of inspiring, awesome, spectacular women but I have yet to meet a true SuperMom who is doing it all alone! So, why is it we are sold that picture everyday that we have to be able to just handle it all? Many of the moms I know who are running businesses from home either have all the kids in school or send their children to daycare at least half the day. The ones who are trying to run a business and take care of the children full time, at least the ones I talk to, are having a hard time balancing it all. We feel immense guilt and lots of frustration because something always seem to give. I just can't seem to manage getting all the things I want going. SO, yes I am airing out my frustration with myself here. Just want to know if anyone else feels the same way!

So, I am wondering if I should give up on some of my aspirations most of the time. I love my boys and want to homeschool them especially my eldest. It is so hard getting him motivated and keeping him going when I turn my back. I can't hold his hand for everything, not that he needs it, he just seems to want attention all the time. My middle son is having a terrible time potty training and seems to poop just after I sat him on the potty or when I am busy breastfeeding the baby. Then the baby wants to be attached to the breast all night and all day. I know they should always come first but I really want more for me. I want to start learning more, doing more and I especially want a career again but one I can do from home.

So, if you are a SuperMom and you read this and think that I am a complete fool let me know what the secret is. If you tell me that the secret is having your life straight before having kids then I am totally screwed because my life looks like Lombard St in San Francisco and I already have the three boys.

I promise to Blog 2you tomorrow!

You get more bees with honey!!!

Okay, so English is not my first language so I always get all the sayings completly wrong. So, it might not be you get more bees with honey but that is how my Cuban brain interprets it! On with my point...

I started this blog as a tribute to all the great women I was meeting along the way as I grew my business. Women who are designers and shop owners that to me not only inspired me to keep going but made me realize that I was not the only one sticking it out for my dreams! My blogs were all formulated after having a few emails and/or phone calls with each of these gals. I loved how I could learn from these women and how great I felt after singing their praises to the world. But somewhere along the way my business began to grow sales began coming in and I became more pre-occupied with getting customers in to the site than letting things happen naturally. I stopped posting here and then after I saw some behavior in the boutique community I let this blog which was my personal retreat become sour. For this I greatly apologize to my readers. I should not have used this as a platform to voice those opinions! I am going to once again blog how I always intended.

I have taken time to reflect on the things that happened and realize that if it had not been for some of those very things I hated so much like 100 lists I would have never found so many friends in this community and they would not have found me. I want to extend a HUGE thank you to those gals that I have become friends with that are my biggest supporters and source of motivation. You all drive me to find my way, to re-open my site and to really make a committment to this industry. Susan, Jacky, Kristen, Taryn, Tara, Robin and Tabitha you all are great women that can count on me for whatever you need. Each of you has helped me solve a different piece of the puzzle. Each of you has shown me that we moms not only need to stick together but have to stand up for one another.

I am so glad that most of the women who read this blog are boutique owners. At first I wrote it so my own customers could get an inside look into some of the products and designers I carried or aspired to carry. Then I do not know how many of the boutique moms began to write me either to be featured or to tell me they liked reading the blog and I took time to write each back. I feel very fortunate to have found a base readership that has an interest in me continuing this blog. I have learned that this cyber world of boutique moms is tiny and in some great need of a place to speak candidly without censorship but also without negativity.

In the next couple of weeks my newest baby will be born and this one is for all of you boutique moms to help me pamper and raise. The site name will be realeased when it is ready but I hope you all join me there. We will have a forum to discuss everything business related plus mom issues that come with balancing our work, children and spouses. I hope that some of the real veterans in this game join us there such as Heather from Mom4Life and Wendy from DimplesandDandelions! I invite them because they seem to know how to succeed at business with class and leadership while still managing to be inspiring moms. I also welcome all ebay selling veterans out there that exemplify integrity and persistance.

I am setting up the site using a content management system that allows for blogs, password protected areas, ads and many other things. So, eventually this blog will move there. I will also open up the site to contain some new blogs. Ads as always will remain free as long as I run the site. I will never charge for ads. Ads will be on the homepage and in a banner rotation. So please come spam, come chat, come listen and make friends!

I hope to see all you Boutique Betties there and those of you Betties that just like to boutique shop!

Blog 2 you Later! This is one of my of the top of my head blogs written at 3:30 my time so excuse the typos!

Are You a HOT Mama?

In my search for great baby products I came across a site that carried the best in baby products but also appealed to my inner "goddess"! I was so excited I could shop for my boys and get some cool things for myself too! As the mom of three boys the last place I want to schlep my boys too is a bath and body store since I can't even get them to sit still long enough at the Target for me to find a lipstick color I like. So, having a site like www.hotmamabeautyandstyle.com/ that allows me to get my girly and mommy shopping fixes all in one is heavenly!!!

I bet many of you might have already heard of www.hotmamabeautyandstyle.com/ though since the site is quickly gaining a fan base. I had the pleasure of getting to talk to the owner of the site by phone recently and I got the scoop on the hot mama behind the name, what started it all, her definition of what it means to be a true hotmama.

Tammy, came off as a funny, smart and very down to earth woman. At no time during our conversation did it seem like I was talking to a stranger. She quickly made me feel as if I had known her forever with her welcoming tone and infectious laugh. Tammy got her degree in Kinesiology and teaching credential which she used for 5 years as an elementary physical education specialist. I can totally see how she would be great with young children since she is so approachable. She loved her job and was devoted to children but when her first son Nicholas was born Tammy chose to stay at home with him and make him her priority. After his birth Tammy's husband gave her the moniker "Hot Mama"! One Christmas he decided to make that an official nickname by giving a license plate that stated, "Nicko's Hot Mama!". Tammy explained that she enjoyed sporting that around town since her definition of a hot mama is about more than just looks!

Tammy loves to try new cosmetics, body scrubs, lotions, if it is beauty related more than likely she'll try it. She even calls Sephora her "happy place"! She wanted to start a business but having no business background or sales experience she thought she better stick to something she knew well. A friend of Tammy's is a successful online boutique owner so Tammy got an inside scoop of what it takes. So, she figured that with hard work and finding her own niche she too could put a successful business plan together. Her resolution was to combine her two loves beauty and fashion. Learning new aspects of the retail industry lead her to expand her business to include her love of unique, quality baby products into her store.

What defines a hot mama? Well, in Tammy's own words "a Hot Mama is wild (spontaneous, takes risks), passionate (about life, Family, goals) and fun (laughs, plays, celebrates). A Hot Mama is About an attitude more than a look."

To her part of being a hot mama is also giving back and especially being able to reach out to other mothers who are in need. One of her greatest joys is being able to help at the Option House, a shelter for battered women and children, each Mother's Day. Tammy is involved with a group of church ladies that gives these moms a mothers day to remember. They pamper the women staying in the shelter with facials, foot baths, massages, manicures, they are gifted with plush robes and slippers and at the end of the evening there is a dinner. While the moms are being taken care of the kids make a gift for their moms and are treated to a pizza party. Tammy feels that the moms at the Option House are the Hottest of the Hot Mamas since they are making a real effort to improve the quality of life for their children and themselves, no matter how hard the obstacles ahead may be. Hot Mama Beauty and Style gives 10% if it's profits to the Option House in an effort to make the world a more passionate place!

Tammy, is the type of business owner that we all can be proud to support as customers and strive to be like as boutique owners. Please visit www.hotmamabeautyandstyle.com/ and enjoy browsing her many wonderful items for both baby and mom. And moms remember that an integral part of being a good mom is taking the time to pamper yourself too, so don't forget to pick up some products for yourselves. By the way not only is Tammy pounding the ground for hot new baby products that are top of the line but she is also coming out with her own brand of skin care products. Coming soon to www.hotmamabeautyandstyle.com/ is Tammy's own creation a refining cream!

Blog 2 You Later! Hopefully not as later as it has been lately? UH?

Campaign free google ranking!

Here is an excerpt from a very useful article about page rank and linking. To read the rest of the very detailed article please visit: http://www.iprcom.com/papers/pagerank/

This article leads me to the assumption that how I initially wanted to carry out this campaign may need very much re-thinking. We will be able to do something to get our rankings up thought because I will have a solution it just may take longer since the solution needs to be helpful and have a long lasting affect.

Here is what they write:

Give away something usefulwww.phpbb.com has a Toolbar PR of 8/10 (at the time of writing) and it has no big money or marketing behind it! How can this be? What the group has done is write a very useful bulletin board system that is becoming very popular on many websites. And at the bottom of every page, in every installation, is this HTML code: Powered by phpBB The administrator of each installation can remove that link, but most don’t because they want to return the favour… Can you imagine all those millions of pages giving a fraction of a vote to www.phpbb.com? Wow! Principle: Make it worth other people’s while to use your content or tools. If your give-away is good enough other site admins will gladly give you a link back. Principle: it’s probably better to get lots (perhaps thousands) of links from sites with small PR than to spend any time or money desperately trying to get just the one link from a high PR page.

Blog 2 you Later!