The Truth about Breastfeeding, part 1

So, today I feel like talking about something most of us mothers do or at least try to make an attempt to do, breastfeeding. I want to share my truth about breastfeeding here candidly so that other mom's can know that they are not alone in their struggles with motherhood. From time to time I will do this since I have found that we girls like so much to paint pretty pictures and not share the ugly drafts with one another. Motherhood isn't easy and it can be pretty lonely sometimes, especially inside our own heads where we obess about our abilities as mom's. I have three sons with each I had a different brestfeeding experience and with each I had different circumstances that may have influenced the relationship between child and breast. Read on to learn my truths about breastfeeding... When I had my first son, he was taken to the ICU for about 8 hours for observation. When he got back to me he had been given a bottle or two and would not latch on to the breast. I also delivered him via C-Section in a military hospital where there was not one nurse to be found that was a lactation consultant. None of the OB nurses showed much interest in helping me learn how to put baby to breast and I wasn't born knowing how to do that. I unfortunately did not have my mom near either so after about a month of crying and giving him bottles I found a lactation consultant in my area through the internet. She was wonderful and helped me get him to latch on. I even used a bottle that hung around my neck and had a silicon tube attached to my nipple to supplement my almost depleted milk supply, with formula. I soon had to return to work fulltime. Breastfeeding him did not last very long. I pumped milk for awhile but it was too frustrating and he mostly got formula. This experience made me feel like a complete failure. I had wanted so badly to breastfeed him and I had failed mesirably. It really hurt and to this day I feel very guilty about not having found a way to make it work for him. With my second son I had the most incredible team of doctors and nurses in the world. My second baby seemed much easier to breastfeed. He and I had some struggles at first but we got it after much help from an OB nurse or two. I returned to work 3 weeks post-op because we desperately needed the money since I had been on bedrest for about 3 months. I had a wonderdul breast pump that I used but working in the OR did not permit me to pump regularly. I breastfed him and formula fed him until he was about four months. The more time I spent at work the less breast time he got. Yet, I still pumped until he was about nine months old for him to get occasional feedings throughout the day of breastmilk. With him I had less feelings of guilt because I knew I tried harder and knew more as a mother. Well, now my third son is 9 months old and he has not gotten one bottle of formula yet! I am a stay at home mother which helps emmensely with breastfeeding. The keys this time were how much I wanted to breastfeed him, how easily he took to the breast and how much support I got from the hospital nurses. It was so incredible to have my C-Section in a hospital that has a small OB department. The nurses made me feel at home, partly because I used to work with some of them, but mainly because they are true professionals and many are breastfeeding advocates! Not one time did any of them run in bombarding me with bottles of formula. Not one time did they try and enable my quitting when it got rough. They stuck by me and helped baby and me get through the first day which is the roughest. By the day I left the hospital we had it and the visiting Pediatrician commented on how I was a breastfeeding pro since he was my third. Internally I laughed if she had only known the troubles I had before. My youngest is still on the breast and I haven't found any need to supplement with formula, but the last nine months of breastfeeding have not always been easy. In another post I will tell you about the ups and downs we have had the last nine months. For now I hope that you new and experienced mom's got something from this post. I know how it is to suffer in silence about whether or not we are doing what is right for our children. I guess that is part of the reason I share here with you guys. Just know that if you breastfeed or formula feed however you do it that is the right way for you, that child and that particular moment. Don't let anyone make you feel like you are not doing it right and don't think that you have to do it like the others. Mothering is an art form we all master in a different manner. I bet that some of the best babywearing breastfeeding mommas can't bake cookies and some of the best cookie makers are stroller pushing formula feeding mommas! If you get my point I have yet to meet the perfect mom but I have meet some awesome moms who all do the best they can! I am very grateful that you continue to read my words, even on days like today that I ramble! Blog 2 you later!